These days I cry in small snatches. For whatever reason I’ll start to feel sad, which will then lead me to cry, but as soon as tears start I stop crying: wipe the eyes, blow the nose, the end. The whole thing lasts about thirty seconds. I’m not doing it this way deliberately; it seems to be more like a sneeze than anything else, and probably lasts about the same amount of time.
I never did it this way before; it’s only been happening for the last year or two, and I don’t remember how or when it started changing. Sometimes I think maybe I’m going a bit mad. I don’t see why something as basic as crying would change character unless there’s something in my thinking that’s creating the change, and I don’t know what that might be.
On the other hand, crying in short bursts doesn’t seem to be doing any harm, and unlike the previous alternative – crying for longer, to the point of sometimes wallowing in it (“OH WOE IS ME!”) – it doesn’t leave me feeling worse afterwards… because I don’t feel anything afterwards. It’s all just over and done with. So, maybe it’s some sort of pressure release – rapid escape of emotional steam.