Tag Archives: amusing

Outbreak of random links

I’ve just read a 2009 TIME article about outlaw motorcycle gangs in Australia: Outbreak of biker violence leaves Australia on edge. Throughout the article there are links to gallery images… but they’re irrelevant gallery images. Well, except the first one, which is at least related, maybe: “pictures of gangs in New Zealand”. But “pictures of wildfires devastating Australia”? And “fighting crime in Mexico City”?

This is my favourite:

Veno says the gangs had been trying to broker a peace to head off the plans for new laws banning their existence. “[Notorious] have made an outrageous move of hitting people coming from peace talks that could have saved their bacon.” (See pictures of Australia rescuing its koalas.)

In case

My parents flew back from their holiday this afternoon, so I drove Mum’s car up to the airport at Coolangatta to ferry them back to their place.

It’s not that I’m a nervous driver, but more that I’m a nervous everything: the one-hour drive up the freeway on my own makes me worried and fearful – every time, even though nothing has ever gone wrong and I have no reason to suppose it ever will. It’s just anxiety, I suppose.

One thing I do beforehand that seems to help is to think about the things that might go wrong and prepare for them, in case. Obviously there’s a danger this might just aggravate my fear instead of easing it, but it does feel like it helps, so I keep doing it. And sometimes I get a good laugh out of being so ridiculous, which helps more than anything else.

Here, for the amusement of both of us, reader, is the list of things I took along on the drive this afternoon, just in case…

– water, in case of thirst or in case I started to get a headache and needed to take tablets
– headache tablets, in case of headache
– aspirin, in case of stroke
– bandaids, in case of cuts or (because I have new shoes) blisters
– an extra pair of socks, in case the car broke down and I had to walk a long way in the new shoes, in case the bandaids weren’t enough to ward off blisters
– extra hairbands, in case the one I’m using broke
– a torch, because I’d need it to see the way into the house when I got home tonight, or the car broke down and I had to walk along the side of the road in the dark
– a battery, in case the torch went flat
– my mobile phone
– my mobile phone recharger, in case I got stuck somewhere along the way or my parents’ plane was delayed and there were lots of calls to and fro to organise things or for any other reason I had to use the phone a lot and it ran out of power
– a book, in case I had to wait a long time at the airport or in a broken-down car
– a hat, in case I had to walk in the sun
– a coat, in case it got cold
– extra money, in case of need
– handcream, in case the air was dry
– extra tissues, in case I used up the two in my pockets
– my address book, in case I lost my phone and had to call people (I can’t remember numbers)
– an extra lip-gloss, in case I lost the one in my pocket
– earplugs, leftover from working at the factory, but you never know when they’ll be handy
– three biros and one felt-tip pen, because I hadn’t realised there were so many in my bag
– paper to write on
– Tic-Tacs, in case of bad breath
– a mirror, in case I got kidnapped and held in a confined space with only a small window facing the sun (I could use the mirror to signal for help)
– and finally: elastic bands, because you never know; they’re useful for lots of things.

I made it up the highway and home again, safely. As always. And it’s always a relief afterwards.

I just heard that my three-year-old nephew gets so excited in their local museum’s interactive section that he pushes other children out of the way to get to the exhibits. It shouldn’t be funny.