At 08:20 I was trying to get two cows into a paddock from off the public road. They’d run up the road from where they’re agisted, looking for the calves we’d sent to market yesterday (sniffle). The paddock into which they were supposed to go has a wide double-gate entrance, and my neighbour and I were directing the cows towards that gateway, using the sort of arm gestures adopted by police on point duty to mean “Go that way!”, and understood by cows everywhere, I presume.
It was morning rush hour on the road: three cars went past in the ten minutes I was out there; people taking their kids to school, probably, even though there’s a school bus.
And a woman in a big clean 4-wheel-drive happens along and has to slow down and nearly stop. Which was probably annoying for her, and unfortunate, and it’s a public road so the cows shouldn’t be on it, and et cetera.
But shit happens. And the only way to get the cows off the road was to get them into the paddock, the one with the aforementioned wide-open DOUBLE-GATE ENTRANCE (it’s really wide; huge, and only someone who couldn’t see or wasn’t looking would fail to notice the two gates standing open, only a metre or three from the edge of the road).
But instead of driving behind my neighbour and I, and behind the cows, and across the flat lawn-like grassland that is the verge on the non-paddock side of the road (thusly helping in our quest to clear the public road of trespassing cattle), the woman continued to drive along the bitumen road, which took her between the cows and the gateway. Which, if you’re not following along here, meant that she was in exactly the right place to stop the cows going into the gateway!
What the?! Oh, wake up, Australia!
The cows baulked and turned around, of course; because they’re not stupid, and wouldn’t willing run under a car.
After the idiotic 4WD-er had gone away, we had to start all over again. It took five more minutes to get the cows into the paddock. And it’s not like they weren’t upset enough already. Their babies are gone – gone to be sold at market today, and starved tomorrow outside the abattoir, and probably shot and carved up the day after that (I’m supposing). And after that, people like the idiotic 4wd-er will probably cook them up and serve them at their fabulous dinner parties with their like-minded idiotic friends.
I hate the 4-wheel-drivers around here. They’re universally idiotic. THIS IS MY ASSERTION AND I’M STICKING TO IT. They stay on the road, no matter what – because it’s a road, because that’s where cars drive, and they’re in a car, a big car, a car with a really high ceiling, isn’t it roomy? driving it, down the road, and it’s a road because it’s bitumen, and Hey! there shouldn’t be any cows on this road! Get out of my way, you cows! Get out of my way! Zoom! Zoom!
Everybody is an idiot right now. Everybody! Thank you and good night. Except it’s now
09:00 09:30 09:42 09:54 and I don’t have time to do the more-interesting post I was working on earlier, which I also didn’t get finished last night either, which makes me despair about ever getting anything finished ever. And today is the first sunny day we’ve had in about two weeks, after a lot of rain, which means I have a lot of work to do outside and it’s super humid right now. Bad news. Bad news. Boo hoo hoo.
So there we have it. Tuesday. You’re welcome to it, Reader.